Claiming masculinity

“It is not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong.”

Primo Levi

I’ve been thinking a lot on this, what makes me strong and what makes me feel strong.Transitioning makes me strong quite literally because there is a constant resistance and a constant struggle from my side. Resistance and endurance is what builds strength, both at the gym and in your everyday life.

When I feel masculine, I feel strong, I feel good about myself. That is not the same as thinking masculinity equals strength or that femininity is opposite to masculinity.

To transition from female to male has so far been a lot about claiming masculinity. About stop being ashamed of the parts of me that I’ve always liked best, to keep doing the things that I love to do or start doing things I’ve always wanted to do. But fun as it is, claiming masculinity is hard work. Some cis-genderd people tell me “just be yourself”. Well, off course I am. Yet I feel like anything I do is read as a stereotype nowadays. I take that as a proof for the male gender role to be limiting as well.

Then I decided that I’ll just have to work with stereotypes for a while. Playing with or simply accepting stereotype expressions of masculinity is exactly what I need to do. And I might just as well start documenting it for me to look back at later on.

So here is a gallery of relativity fresh pictures from my everyday life, claiming masculinity. You cannot miss the stereotypes, but I’m not going to excuse myself or shy away from those any more. I’ll use ’em until they break or stop feeling like stereotypes. In that way, I can make room for many ways to be masculine.

#claimingmasculinity

PicsArt_1399106285790[1]

Getting dressed, yesterday. This is my binder, disguised as a black tank top.

PicsArt_1399110778098[1]

At the hospital where I train to be a speech and language pathologist.

PicsArt_1399110591181

At the gym.

PicsArt_1399117019925[1]

At a party.

PicsArt_1399118102154[1]

In the 14th century, at war.

At an adventure.

At an adventure.

/ E.

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Claiming masculinity

  1. Pingback: The first meeting with the transgender investigation team | All you need to know.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s