The day I’ve been waiting for so long turned out to be today.
This morning I got a call from my endocrinologist. He said that I was all clear for starting my medical treatment. I just had to pick up my prescripted first dose of Nebido (a synthetic testosterone) on the pharmacy and get an appointment with a nurse for the first injection. So I did and I had my first shot this afternoon. The next one will be in 6 weeks and after that every 12 weeks, for the rest of my life…
How I feel?
I feel a bit numb, honestly, probably due to my depression. It does feel good to have started finally and I don’t have a shadow of a doubt about this being the right thing to do. I think the joy and sense of relief will come later. No wonder I’m not all jumpy about this since I’ve been fighting so hard, waiting for years and been very ill lately.
Regardless of how I’m feeling right now, I know I’m facing an interesting time. The first effects of testosterone has been reported to occur within 24 hours or a couple of days after the first dose, but those first signs will probably only be noted by me and those closest to me. Then other changes will come. The more notable ones will happen in 1 – 6 months from now and then go on and continuously stabilise over a period of 1 – 2 years.
In short, my body will go through a speedy second puberty of sorts, but a male puberty this time. I might get acne. My voice will crack because of the increase of volume of the vocal cords and after a whil it will land in significantly deeper mode. I will put on muscles more easily and fat will be distributed differently on my body, giving a more lean and masculine impression, only to mention a few things. I hope that body and facial hair takes a bit longer, so II will have time to get used to the idea, but the time-line for all these things are very individual. I’ll just have to wait and see.
No matter what comes next this is a point of no return. Testosterone treatment is very potent, meant to be life-long and is in many ways irreversible.
Wish me luck on this new adventure, I think I’ll need it.