Claiming masculinity

“It is not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong.”

Primo Levi

I’ve been thinking a lot on this, what makes me strong and what makes me feel strong.Transitioning makes me strong quite literally because there is a constant resistance and a constant struggle from my side. Resistance and endurance is what builds strength, both at the gym and in your everyday life.

When I feel masculine, I feel strong, I feel good about myself. That is not the same as thinking masculinity equals strength or that femininity is opposite to masculinity.

To transition from female to male has so far been a lot about claiming masculinity. About stop being ashamed of the parts of me that I’ve always liked best, to keep doing the things that I love to do or start doing things I’ve always wanted to do. But fun as it is, claiming masculinity is hard work. Some cis-genderd people tell me “just be yourself”. Well, off course I am. Yet I feel like anything I do is read as a stereotype nowadays. I take that as a proof for the male gender role to be limiting as well.

Then I decided that I’ll just have to work with stereotypes for a while. Playing with or simply accepting stereotype expressions of masculinity is exactly what I need to do. And I might just as well start documenting it for me to look back at later on.

So here is a gallery of relativity fresh pictures from my everyday life, claiming masculinity. You cannot miss the stereotypes, but I’m not going to excuse myself or shy away from those any more. I’ll use ’em until they break or stop feeling like stereotypes. In that way, I can make room for many ways to be masculine.

#claimingmasculinity

Getting dressed, yesterday. This is my binder, disguised as a black tank top.

At the hospital where I train to be a speech and language pathologist.

At the gym.

At a party.

In the 14th century, at war.

At an adventure.

/ E.